The Rundown: Combichrist "What the Fuck is Wrong With You People?"

"It's funny how Andy has become the hero of goths everywhere, since he acts like the jock in high school that they always complain about. He parties hard, drinks hard, is a big beefy dude and loves sluts." - DJ Sound.Wav

I don't know when it happened exactly, but it seems like Andy Laplegua's Combichrist persona has become the hottest shit to hit the Goth/Industrial club scene since welding goggles. Kind of odd considering the fact that like all the Icon of Coil singer's side-projects, it doesn't really seem to have it's own identity. Truthfully, whether recording as Combichrist, Panzer AG or Scandy, Laplegua seems to just do whatever he's interested in at the time without much regard for establishing what each 'brand' is supposed to represent musically. Thus far from Combichrist we've had an album with a Noisex-like blend of Electro and Power Noise ('The Joy of Gunz') and a largely instrumental collection of techno-fied club bangers (the ultra-popular, ultra-dumb "Everybody Hates You"). Considering that, it's pretty strange to think that "What the Fuck is Wrong With You People?" is so hotly anticipated by the club kids. For all we know Andy could have decided to make an electro-polka record.

DISCLAIMER: This is not intended to be a serious critical review in any sense, so much as it is a casual overview of the album on first listen.

5 A.M. AFTERPARTY

The obligatory, unecessary intro track. Apparently Andy has been making prank phone calls.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?

The soon to be ubiquitous title track, somewhat reminiscent of Panzer AG's 'This is My Battlefield'. It's big, catchy and undeniably anthemic without resorting to the sweeping faux-grandeur of Futurepop. I dropped it at Sanctuary last night, people are already packing the dancefloor for it, shouting along to the chorus.

ELECTROHEAD

An instrumental version of this stompy club jam was released on the Industrial for the Masses Vol. 3 compilation a few months back, but didn't do all that much for me. This version with the addition of vocals seems way better, I'm starting to think it's actually the singing that tips these songs over from okay to entertaining.

ADULT CONTENT

You know, I get the impression that Andy thinks he's being kind of risque when he writes songs with cusswords in them. Also, I could be wrong but I think the 'Parental Advisory' warning on the album cover isn't a legit RIAA sticker, which is pretty hilarious. Anyways, this song is instrumental, and sounds like an outtake from the last album.

FUCK THAT SHIT

This is pretty fun and noisy. Word to Frank Booth.

BRAIN BYPASS

This is pretty boring and also 8 minutes long. Samples about drugs over a middling electro-beat. Whereas the album up 'til this point had been going at a brisk enough clip to ignore some of it's musical shortcomings, this derails things somewhat. If you listen to albums on your mp3 player, make a playlist and leave this off or stick it on the end for a superior listening experience.

GET YOUR BODY BEAT

Slightly different intro and outro than the single version released in '06, but otherwise the same enormous song we've been hearing for over half a year. This is possibly one of the best big dumb dancefloor tracks of the decade.

DEATHBED

Holy shit, this one starts off sounding kind of like "Too Dark Park"-era Skinny Puppy before going into a more terror EBM stylee. Totally unexpected and pretty great. Also, doesn't seem like it's trying all that hard to be a club song which is a nice change of pace.

IN THE PIT

Kind of aimless and lyrically profane but not terrible or anything. I stand by my earlier assertion that Andy's vocals can sell a song that would otherwise be fairly mediocre.

SHUT UP & SWALLOW

This one has a nice build before blasting off. It's probably a little long for what it is, but it fits nicely as the beginning of the final third of the album. Getting head seems to be the unofficial theme of this record.

RED

A slower, more shouty number. Perfectly serviceable. Bonus Industrial points for rhyming "auto-erotic" and "neurotic".

ARE YOU CONNECTED

This song title should really have a question mark at the end of it. But we'll overlook that as this zesty slice of EBM (which is not so far musically from some of the more aggresive Icon of Coil tracks actually) is just so darn enthusiastic.

GIVE HEAD IF YOU GOT IT

Oh wow. This transcends stupidity and enters the realm of the sublime. Andy wants sluts to give head, and doesn't mind saying so. Not since Funker Vogt's 'Shaven' has an attempt at irony been bungled so as to appear completely straight with such entertaining results. This is somehow completely awesome. An album highlight.

ALL YOUR BASS BELONG TO US

Although a quick google search yields no pertinent results, I can't believe this is the first time someone has used this as a song title. It doesn't have any vocals to speak of on it which is kind of disappointing, but is actually pretty solid anyways.

COMMENTARY: About as good as any club oriented record ever is with some outstanding moments. Get ready to hear "What the Fuck is Wrong With You?", "Electrohead" and God willing "Give Head if You Got It" a whole lot in '07.

Combichrist @ Myspace.

The Prospects

Ubiquitous Nu-Industrial Juggernaut/Home for Major Label Cast Offs Metropolis Records has a loaded release schedule for the months of March and April. Aside from another two albums in the endless stream of KMFDM re-releases (seriously, I keep forgetting how many albums these guys put out), a single and full-length from electro also-rans Client and a B-Sides n' Remixes album from FLA, the big M also has releases slated for scene heavyweights Combichrist, Wumpscut, Assemblage 23, and VNV Nation. In the interest of judging albums I haven't heard yet, here's a quick rundown of what you might expect from these records based solely on 30 second sound clips, a few mp3s I came across and my own prejudices. Feel free to come back in May and call me out for completely getting it wrong.

Combichrist 'What the Fuck is Wrong With You People'
Icon of Coil frontman Andy Laplegua's last album under this moniker was some of the most obnoxiously catchy disposable EBM of recent years. The industrial club equivalent of cotton candy, it seems great at the time but is ultimately insubstantial. That said his 2006 single 'Get Your Body Beat' is probably the best stompy club jam of recent years and if the 30 second clip of the album's title track from Metro's website is indicative of anything, the album could actually be a barnstormer.

:Wumpscut: 'Body Census'
I didn't actually buy the last two :W: albums after betting badly burnt on the execrable 'Bone Peeler' (although I hear tell from my compatriots that 'Cannibal Anthem' was alright), so I can't say the impending release of 'Body Census' is a shoe-in to set my world on fire. Certainly, the easy to mock You Are A Goth is really kind of inexcusable and would seem to point to another stinker from Rudy. Then again, We Believe, We Believe is pretty decent, if the rest of the album leans towards the latter and stays well away from the former it could still end up being middling to fair.

Assemblage 23 'Meta'
Maybe it's the clubs I go to but it doesn't seem like the kind of emotive futurepop Tom Shear is known for is still getting a lot of play for the dancefloor. With that in mind, all the Ass 23 records have been strong from a songwriting perspective and have had impeccable production, there's no reason to think this one is going to be any different. Of the available samples on the band's Metropolis profile, I think the Covenant-like Dirt, a B-Side from the first single is the most promising sounding.

VNV Nation 'Judgement'
This one could really go any which way. The last album had some good songs, but didn't have the catchiness or appeal of their monster second and third records. Unlike the rest of the albums I'm being unfair to here, I haven't been able to locate so much as a snippet of music to judge it by. That said, their PR write up mentions that the song 'Nemesis' features "pounding bass-line and melody to its electric-guitar like synth sounds" which could be kind of neat. On the other hand, apparently 'Testament' "could be described as an electronic-indie anthem", which sounds awful but might make sense considering the fact they're playing Coachella this year.